Death on two wheels and four legs

April 1st, weather is quite nice, a little smoggy today, but otherwise everything started out quite well! Then I was struck by a vehicle.....one that had a really angry donkey as an engine. Was visiting one of the government ministries that was out on the outskirts of the city, where you do get more animal-driven carts and random vehicles, like unlicensed 3-wheeled motorcycle tuk-tuk taxis, like the ones in Thailand, India, Cambodia, Indonesia, etc...except here they're technically illegal and unlicensed, so you'll never see them closer into the city.

Crossing the street after the meeting to get a snack, I walk into traffic as usual, trying to project minimal hesitation and regard for my own safety. Cars, buses, trucks, the odd motorcycle, I frogger-around with no problem. They beep, they swerve, everything is normal for a Cairo street during rush hour (which is 00:00 to 23:59). I hop up onto the median, ready to cross the other side of the road, casually glance at the carrot-covered cart with a donkey at the front. Donkey and cart (with no driver to be seen) were both sitting still a few feet away, apparently minding their own business. I pay them no further attention. I step onto the road, but pause, as there's a microbus speeding my way. Think about one of those old Volkswagon vans with more windows and seats, and like 20 people crammed inside, with a driver on a combination of methamphetamines, and you've got a microbus. Donkey flips out right as I step onto the road, trying to shake off its reins and looking mighty frustrated with being tied to a bunch of carrots it can't reach. Donkey's head shakes to the left and right.

Donkey's head shakes left, towards the road, right as the microbus speeds by.

Donkey's head pretty much explodes as the microbus blasts into it at full speed, no braking.

Something horrible, hairy, and wet flies right at me, bouncing off my laptop bag (thankfully) and rolling out into traffic. By now the microbus has stopped in the middle of the road, there is donkey-head all over its front and side (and probably some of the passengers), and there's quite a commotion. I was too shocked and awed to even take out my camera.

Hehe, April fool's! The vehicle was actually a wobbly bicycle ridden by an older fellow, on the streets of one of the main squares in the city. It did hit me though. Nothing serious, just a bit of a side swipe, with neither of us falling over, but both of us quite surprised, probably me more than him since I didn't really foresee the collision happening until I heard his flustered yelling a second before he skidded by. I guess my calibration and movement strategies through traffic don't translate to man-powered vehicles. I've been ok at dodging the few scooters and odd motorcycle, and even a couple of horses, but give me a clear road with dude on a bicycle, and apparently I'll just try and tackle him. Bet ya liked the donkey story more, yeah?

And now, a cross-dressing camel.